This is how I feel most days

Oh Lemuel, I hear you.

Photo strip of Lemuel and Olivia from Midnight Texas TV show

Groan… I’m up in daylight… walking into the sun.

Off

Um…

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Our teenager used Google Translate to verify an essay about his family for Chinese class. He described his dad as being tall. Here’s what Google Translate had to say about that.

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Old Tomatoes

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I’ve been getting senior citizen mailers for a while now. Somewhere out there, a marketing database shows me as 20 years older than I really am. The tomato seeds, however, are new to me.

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Carrots

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Today Kevin came home with 25 pounds of carrots. The cashier asked him, “Do you have a horse?” It’s a reasonable question, since the store is only a block away from some stables. Kevin replied, “I have a rabbit the size of a horse.”

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Divine Transportation

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Going somewhere?