The Secret to a Good Marriage

Many years ago, we found the following words attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt in an Ann Landers column. We think it’s very helpful. We hope you do too.

  1. Have a plan, some central plan, as definite a pattern for your life as possible and a clearly understood object for the joint project.
  2. Remember that sooner or later money is apt to be a cause of friction.
  3. Apportion your time and energy, allowing each to share joint homemaking duties, as well as individual responsibilities.
  4. Let neither husband nor wife strive to be the dominating person in the household. A victory for either means failure for the partnership.
  5. Expect to disagree. Two people may hold entirely different views on many subjects and yet respect and care for each other.
  6. Be honest.
  7. Be loyal. Keep your differences to yourselves. The less said about your married troubles, except between yourselves, the better. The feeling that many young married people have — that they can complain to their parents when things do not go just right — is bad for them and brings more serious trouble later on.
  8. Talk things over. When hurt, do not keep it to yourself, brooding over it. Meet every situation in the open. Troubles that seem momentous quickly vanish when frankly dealt with.
  9. Avoid trivial criticisms. Grumbling and complaints use up the vital forces of man or woman.
  10. Keep alive the spirit of courtship, that thoughtfulness which existed before marriage. Look for traits in the other that can be admired and praised. You can accomplish much by stimulating self-confidence in your partner.

To the above, we would add that a good sense of humor and the willingness to say sorry really help.

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