So, what I was saying is this. Any third world mutt given a dinner of leftover chicken meat (sans bones even!) to complement some boring dry dog food would be totally happy, not to mention healthy. What does our purebred first world dog go and do? Have another heaving attack of diarrhea, all over the dining room.

Here’s where I share my trick for deoderizing a room: microwave popcorn. The stuff is amazing, better than Lysol. Just pop a bag and wave it around. It will mask the foulest odors.

(Eating the popcorn after using it for this purpose is totally optional. I know I couldn’t bring myself to do it.)

In other potty news, Ana is done using her little potty chair, yay! Now we can pack it away in the garage until number three is ready to use it.

And speaking of number three, I’m now at week 19. Within the last two weeks I gained a disconcerting 4 pounds for a total weight gain of 5 pounds. While putting on a sweater with a geometric design, I had a full on panic attack, complete with a self diagnosis of gestational diabetes.

“I look like a FAT ABSTRACT PAINTING!!!” I wailed.

Then Kevin reminded me that I went through similar growth spurts when I was pregnant with Ana. He wondered if it had something to do with the girly hormones, because my weight gain with Alex had been much more steady. I’m just glad that one of us remembers stuff like this. Hopefully my glucose test next month confirms it.

My belly is huge now. Not wearing a maternity belt is no longer an option. For weeks I tried and failed to find my old belt, and I was despairing at the thought of having to brave holiday crowds at the mall just to get a replacement when I finally found it in the last box of baby stuff, huzzah!

I’ve also started wearing nursing bras. Yeah, real sexy but none of my normal bras fit anymore, and I’m too cheap to buy new bras in a bigger cup size only to have to give them away in five months.

Here I’ve recruited Alex and Ana to my cause of cultivating plants that Mommy isn’t allergic to. Costco apples come in these plastic packages perfect for sprouting seeds, sunflower seeds in this case. The kids are spooning potting soil on top of the seeds. Now the trays will sit in the garden window in my kitchen, where it’s all snug and warm, until the seedlings get a few inches tall, and then we’ll plant them in the back yard.

Recently Kevin wore a dark red sweater over a button down shirt.

Ana: Daddy, you look funny!

Me: Ana, that’s not a nice thing to say!

Ana: (in a stage whisper) But mommy, he looks like a TEACHER.

Categories: allergies, food, gardening, kids and parenting, pets
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Yesterday the dog had a bad case of diarrhea. It stunk up the house and took half a roll of paper towels and a ton of Simple Green to clean up. We’re not sure what she found in the backyard that gave her such a major case of the runs. What we do know is that she has a tendency to do the same dumb things over and over again, so we’re steering ourselves for another attack before long.

Tonight at dinner I told Ana that if she would eat half of her tuna fish sandwich, she could feed the other half to Daisy. When Ana finally put the last bite in her mouth, Kevin dropped the other half into Daisy’s bowl. He was about to add his own leftover grilled cheese sandwich when I reminded him of our little incident from yesterday. A little tuna wasn’t likely to re-irritate our dog’s delicate gut, but cheese? And butter?

So Kevin extracted the grilled cheese sandwich from the bowl and dropped it in the trash instead. I hated to see the waste, but it beats cleaning up watery poo. Sometimes I think about all the things we’re not allowed to feed our dog because it might 1) make her fat, 2) give her indigestion, or 3) choke her to death, and I have to believe that if third world dogs ever met her, they would think she’s a complete nincompoop.

Categories: food, pets
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Lately Ana’s two favorite activities have been playing with an educational math game that a well-meaning person got for Alex (he’s never shown any interest in it) and cutting and gluing paper. Tonight, as I cut pictures of tomatoes, avocados, and cans of chili out of a grocery store ad for her, I idly wondered whether there was a more boring job than the poor graphic designer who had to find the right clip art for each week’s specials, unless it’s the poor photographer that had to make the clip art in the first place.

As Kevin got ready to take Daisy out for an evening walk, I reminded him to take a golf club.

Kevin: I think I should take a Mag Lite instead.

Me: Why?

K: Last night this woman crossed the street when she saw me coming with the golf club in one hand and the dog in the other. I look TOO well armed.

Me: Well, that’s not a bad thing. Forearmed is forewarned… or something like that.

Alex told Kevin that he wanted to be able to take fried rice for lunch like his friend Leo, so we bought him an insulated lunch bag and some plastic containers to make it happen. I can’t believe it wasn’t that long ago when fried rice would have been the last thing I wanted to take for lunch because all the other kids would have pointed and said, “Eew, what’s THAT???” It’s not weird to be Chinese anymore, not at Alex’s school anyway.

Update: Alex’s friend Leo isn’t Chinese. Fascinating.

Categories: chinese, kids and parenting, pets
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Is age 3 too young to experience unrequited love? Today Ana burst into tears because Daisy refused to come when called. She sobbed uncontrollably into my shoulder until I made her laugh, I don’t even remember how, just one of those things that desperate parents do when they see their child unhappy.

Later Ana played with Daisy while I kept watch, occasionally glaring at the dog, daring her to break Ana’s heart again, not that Daisy would even notice my glaring as something out of the ordinary. She already sees me as The Enforcer and tries to stay out of my way, except when I’m cooking. Then she can’t help herself but come sniffing around my ankles, looking hopeful.

Other than making Ana cry, Daisy’s second day home was uneventful. Kevin took her out for a couple of short walks, and she seems to be reacting well to them. If you’ve watched The Dog Whisperer or read any of Cesar’s books you’d know that taking your dog for regular walks is his prescription for just about everything. During the morning walk Kevin was accompanied by Ana. During the evening walk he was accompanied by Alex, who took along a golf club at my insistence. Alex got a big kick out of that.

Today I did five loads of laundry. At one point I asked Kevin to hang up the stuff that needed to be line dried, and I went back inside to put away some clothes. I found a stray hanger and asked Ana to take it to Kevin.

Ana: Daddy, I have something for you!

Kevin: Oh yeah? What is it?

Ana: (holding up hanger) It’s a hooker!

I also cooked a ton of chicken today, with enough garlic to drive away vampires from the entire neighborhood. This family is NOT getting sick this winter.

Categories: food, kids and parenting, pets, reading
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Around 11:50 p.m. last night I realized I still hadn’t posted the entry for the day, but I was so tired I didn’t want to get out of bed, and so breaks my Nablopomo blogging streak. Ah well, I’ll be a good sport and try to finish out the month anyway.

Yesterday morning Kevin rented a jackhammer. It’s his second time renting this piece of equipment; the first time was over a year ago. The rentals were necessitated by several hundred square feet of really hideous cream and brown tile installed by the previous owner of our house. They didn’t use ordinary thinset like they should have. Instead they had used some crazy substance called wet set mortar, which is why the tiles refused to come off with ordinary hammering and chiseling.

The first jackhammer rental was made after a lot of web research and second guessing. Kevin brought the thing home, put on a pair of eye goggles (after I reminded him to), crossed his fingers, and turned the thing on. It worked brilliantly — one by one the tiles broke into pieces — but man it was hard work. By day’s end, all the tile in the kitchen and dining room was gone, but Kevin’s shoulders and back were KILLING him.

Part two of tile removal took place yesterday, thanks to a LOT of help from Kevin’s brother. Now all the tile in the entry and hallway is gone. There’s a few more demolition projects in our future, but this one was by far the most backbreaking. I’m really thankful that Brian was willing to help us out. I feel like this huge weight has been lifted from our shoulders.

Now that the bathroom construction, bedroom improvements, and noisy tile removal are over, we’re able to bring Daisy back home. She’d been living with my parents since the latter part of summer. Man, I’d forgotten how much stuff it takes to care for a dog. We filled up the entire back of the van with her dog crate, the wheeled 30 gallon plastic bin containing her dry food, and four big shopping bags filled with chew toys, blankets, and other accessories.

The drive home was noisy. She wouldn’t stop whining, but at least she didn’t freak out like she usually does. The secret? Half a dose of Benadryl. Once we got home she seemed relaxed. She had caught fleas from the mangy cats that my parents’ crazy neighbors won’t stop harboring, but Kevin’s found a good flea treatment and got most if not all out of her hair. In a few days I’ll take her to the vet to bring her shots up to date.

Categories: home improvement, pets
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